You’re Not Putting Yourself Out There ENOUGH


Advice that people in relationships love to give their single friends:

1. You’ll find love when you stop searching for it. (Um, I’m pretty sure I did that for about 3 of the 5 1-2 years I’ve been single.)

2. You just need to focus on yourself. (Yeah, I’ve been doing that for my whole life.)

3. You need to be more open. (So, that full year that I forced myself to go on countless dates doesn’t count?)

4. You should try online dating. (Um, no.)

5. It will come to you when you least expect it. (I don’t expect it ever.)

This all reminds me of that Sex and the City episode (and I’m going to paraphrase from memory) when Charlotte and Carrie go to some dating seminar and Charlotte asks why she isn’t finding love. The speaker responds with, “You’re not putting yourself out there.”

Charlotte replies, “Oh, but I am though.”

Speaker, “But you’re not putting yourself out there ENOUGH.”

Carrie grabs the mic from Charlotte and responds with, “Oh, she’s out there.”

For those of you who have never seen Sex and the City (wth is wrong with you?) this is funny/ironic/annoying because Charlotte is a hopeless romantic who is more open than a 24 hour Ralph’s and is constantly dating a new guy on the regular.

There is nothing more frustrating than people in relationships telling you how and when you are going to find love or what is keeping you from finding love. They think they have the answers because they are currently successful in that department, but the truth is that relationships form in a multitude of different ways and their advice is either wrong or stupid. Haha, just kidding. But seriously, I know that they are trying to be helpful but it’s as annoying as someone who says to you, “you don’t have the career you want because you aren’t trying hard enough.” You don’t really know what I’ve been through or how much work I’ve put in.

All we can do is try to be as open as possible and hope that the stars align for us some day as they have for our off-the-market friends.

Until then, we can counteract annoying advice by sending said friends Thought Catalog articles and Buzzfeed lists of reasons why being single is awesome.


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