Threesomes

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I’m starting to feel like such a prude these days.

I know of 2 girls in my friend group who have recently had threesomes with their bf’s and another girl. And after that shocking news I was watching the newest episode of Mad Men last night and there’s Don Draper having one with his wife Megan and Megan’s friend. Are threesomes the new normal for couples? Or maybe not even new? Is this something most couples do and I’m just super naive about it?

I can understand wanting to spice up your sex life now and again, but how on earth can you just sit and watch as someone else performs sexual acts on your husband/boyfriend? I would sooner die then sit back and let that happen no matter how drunk/drugged/fucked up I am. NO THANKS. If I even saw my lover KISS another woman I would cut off his dick and put it in a jar under the sink (that is a line from American Beauty, aka, the greatest movie of all time).

I also just don’t understand the idea that most girls are cool with hooking up with another girl, which again makes me feel like a prude. Is that something that I’m weird for not wanting to do? I’ve learned since moving to LA that most people fall on a gay/straight sort of spectrum and that not everything is so black and white, so it shouldn’t be odd that some women are cool with same sex sex. BUT what about threesomes with 2 guys and girl? How often do you hear of that happening with two guys who claim to be straight? NEVERRRRR.

Which leads me to believe that there is something fishy going on. Hey girl, do you reallllly wanna hook up with another girl and watch your boyfriend get a blow job by someone else. Yes? LIAR. I don’t believe you. I think that these girls are having threesomes solely FOR THEIR MAN. And it makes me sad. Why do feel like you have to compromise yourself in order to please him? Are you alone not good enough? 

I think these girls are so frightened of losing their man that they need to be the “cool chick” who is “up for anything” and in the process feel like shit about themselves. You can say that maybe they felt empowered by it and that it was thrilling to do something different, and my friends tried to say all of these things, but my gut tells me that they aren’t being fully truthful.

Can we just please start being honest about what’s up?

“I haven’t gotten any in months and the only way I could was to bring in a 3rd party”

“I felt my boyfriend was getting bored and was afraid he might stray. So why not bring a girl in so that he doesn’t do it behind my back?”

“I really want to do something nice for my man for his birthday/our anniversary so I thought he would love 2 girls instead of one. It’s not what I want but I’ll do it for him.”

I’m trying to be really open minded and I realize that everyone is different. But I can’t help but feel that most women are wired the same way and since we are so emotionally attached to sex that having a threesome would be more dramatic than these women lead on. Men can have sex and not feel anything. It’s scientifically proven. Women have a harder time doing that and really connect sex more with love and worth than just physical pleasure. 

On Mad Men it was all over Megan’s face that she felt completely embarrassed and ashamed of her sex act the next morning. Don acted like it was no big deal and she wanted to feel that way too but obviously couldn’t. 

I just wish that women could realize that they are enough and that a good man deserves only her and nothing more. I think if you are at the point of threesomes in the relationship than there are bigger problems happening that one person is too nervous to bring up.

Or maybe I’m just a prude??

And if I am a prude and this kind of behavior is normal then what chance do I have to be in a real relationship if most other girls are putting that kind of thing on the table? I definitely won’t compromise myself in order to have that, but I’m starting to feel a little dull and vanilla. I only have my one body to offer. If a guy is coming off of a relationship with a girl who was “cool” with threesomes is he going to stray when he is with me? 

I hope that when the right guy comes along he will shrug it off when I tell him I’m just not comfortable with it. He will have to watch some porn if he wants to experience that.

We are in the age of low attention spans and multi-tasking, and I am the queen of that, but I gotta tell ya, it seems like there is just too much going on in that situation to even enjoy it. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind one day. But for now I think I want to stick to one person in the boudoir. 

If you totally disagree with me please leave a comment. I would seriously love to know how you feel about it!!!

xx

 

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4 thoughts on “Threesomes

  1. You ask is threesomes becoming the norm for couples? Up until a few years ago, it was something kept very much “in the closet,” and over the last few years it has grown in acceptance.

    Statistically I believe it is 1 couple out 4 who have been married over 10 years has had at least one threesome and I believe about 14% of the general adult population has had a threesome. Depending on the statistics you want to believe, somewhere between 2% – 10% of women are either bisexual or lesbian.

    Next, you focus on fmf instead of mfm and I am a bit curious about that? fmf can take longer to arrange and there a lot less single women interested in having a threesome then mean. Plus a fmf can have a lot of drama and leading to hurt feelings if the wrong woman is chosen.

    In my opinion, I believe, you are seeing the practice being accepted instead of an explosion of couples choosing to make having a threesome the norm for relationships. With the practice being accepted it can mean, more couples are open to the idea thereby leading to the growth of the practice as it becomes more openly accepted.

  2. A threesome rarely makes the relationship stronger and, to my mind at least, is actually a sign of underlying problems. A man who shares his wife quite simply doesn’t love her. A man trying to talk his wife into a 3some is doing so to feed his own ego. A woman asking for a 3some doesn’t love her partner. You covet and treasure the person you love and your relationship with them. Pretty simple when you think about it.

  3. I disagree on two counts
    1. Women tolerate threesome because of their boyfriends.
    Women by nature are bisexual or bicurious. Has it ever happen that a girl kissed another girl because she was drunk? Yes it happens all the time. Do we men kiss another man because we are drunk. Never.
    2.Women connect sec more with love
    Women adore sex and yes just for physical pleasure. Certainly more with the man they love but only in the infatuation stage.

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