You thought you were ready in the past but through reflection realize that you were desperate or needy and wanted a relationship to make you feel whole. You thought in your subconscious mind, “if only I had a relationship, then I would be truly happy.” You got angry at people who failed your expectations. You scowled at the couple at the bar looking lovingly into each others eyes and thought, “why don’t I get to have that?” You felt as though you deserved a man or woman and that you were being punished somehow by not having them.
But then suddenly you wake up one morning and you don’t feel empty. You don’t feel as though you need to seek for anyone’s attention. You are self-assured and excited about all that life has to offer. The sky looks SO blue! The weather is absolutely perfect! You start seeing your friends in a whole new light!
Everyone is beautiful. Everyone has an interesting story to tell and you just can’t wait to sit and listen. That person who used to get under your skin suddenly becomes a teacher to you. What can you learn from their agitating behavior?
You want to do things for people without getting anything in return. You want to send gifts just because and write nice things on someone’s social media to make them smile. Nothing is a competition. You aren’t keeping score.
Everything becomes an opportunity. You don’t feel as though you are hopeless in your chosen career. You have a rediscovered energy and passion for what you do. You are hungry to make changes and progress.
Babies become cute instead of annoying.
Puppies light up your face like a child.
The smallest act of kindness fills your eyes with tears.
That painting on the wall is beautiful.
Life is amazing and every experience you have makes you feel so grateful.
Joy shoots out of your eyeballs and it affects everyone around you.
Music touches your soul.
Movies expand your mind.
Books enrich your brain.
This is the attitude of someone who is in love with life. In love with themselves. A loving being who is ready to give and receive love to everyone. This kind of loving person attracts love into their lives.
It’s crazy to actually be in this position myself and be able to articulate it. To know that I’m ready. Like, actually ready. Before when I would complain to my girlfriend that, “I’ve been dating for 15 years, I’m exhausted, where is he?!” I think she probably knew deep down that I was so far from ready. Being ready means that I haven’t once complained about being single, wished that I had a boyfriend, allowed failed expectations from someone send me into a tailspin in a very long time. (Well, long for me.) It’s such an amazing feeling.
Nobody fails my expectations anymore because I don’t even have them. I’m focused on myself and my work and putting energy into my friendships. But it wasn’t even something I did knowingly. I came to this realization over the weekend because I was in a constant state of euphoria (on PMS week no less!!!) with everything going on around me. When something great happened I was STOKED!! When something not so great happened I didn’t even flinch. I didn’t take it personally and I surely didn’t let it affect my mood.
I started thinking about the last couple months and how that has been my attitude across the board…what a difference some time makes. All I have to do is look back at earlier blog posts and see how angry and hurt and negative I used to be. Now, it’s all sunshine and rainbows. I feel like a hippie co-ed in the 70’s with an amazing marijuana buzz.
This is how one HAS to enter into a healthy relationship if they want something special and real and true. This is how I’ve always been before entering into relationships in the past. A person is meant to add to your life, not complete it. If you’re sad or broken how can you offer anyone else true and full love? Only when your heart is exploding with LOVE DYNAMITE can you give and receive in a real way. It’s a fucking amazing thing and I can’t stop smiling and feeling awesome.
Of COURSE I don’t feel 100% joyous at all times of every day, but the feelings of positivity overwhelmingly outnumber the feelings and thoughts of negativity. I still snap sometimes at my incapable manager and scream “what the fuck!?” at the guy who cut me off in traffic, but you get the idea. 🙂
I will say, however, the one thing that is scary about this state of being is that literally everyone starts to fall in love with you. I’ve felt a couple guy friends of mine suddenly look at me with new eyes. Telling me my hair smells good and that I look beautiful. Suddenly considering me as an option. It makes me a little nervous, yet ridiculously excited at the same time. It’s better to have way too many people falling for you then none at all!
If you’re not there yet, don’t worry. It will happen for you in due time. It will sneak up on you when you least expect it. Everyone has to go through the dark, bad times to truly appreciate the good. Life ebbs and flows and you change and grow along with it. You just do you. 🙂