New post is up on Elite Daily!
New post is up on Elite Daily!
New post is up on Elite Daily!!
Happy Holidays everyone!!
For creative people, part of the job requires that we feel more and experience more fully. Live more symbolically. Develop the kind of empathy that allows us to relate to everyone on a deep, personal level. How can one expect to create meaningful art if they don’t completely surrender to an open heart?
The trade-off to having those beautiful gifts, especially for women, is that it makes us more emotional. Too sensitive. Unable to handle and process pain. Our soft hearts make us more accessible to both good AND bad.
There is a quote by Alan Watts that says, “We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain” and a truer statement has never been uttered. And for an emotional person those high highs and low lows are beautiful and honest, but also challenging to deal with.
How can a person like this ever expect to be in a healthy relationship?
I’ve come to this point in my life where I truly feel like I can either be single and healthy, or in a relationship and in a constant state of emotional unrest and hypersensitivity.
I thought things would change once I grew up and matured. I thought maybe the problem was the guys I was choosing. I thought that I just needed more learning experiences. I thought that maybe I could just settle for someone who I felt no spark for.
But alas, I have done all those things and yet still continuously struggle for any semblance of a healthy partnership. Is this my plight in life? Is this just something I have to accept?
Maybe once I meet the one all of this will fall away. Maybe I will just have to work much harder than in the past to constantly keep a level head. Maybe I will have to give in to prescription drugs to numb the thoughts and feelings.
Every guy who has ever been in my life in any kind of romantic capacity I have fought endlessly with. My friends ask me why that is and what do we fight about? I don’t know. Everything. Because for me, once I have reached a level of intimacy where I have fully let my guard down and opened my heart, every single thing he does or says affects me.
There is a line that emotional girls like me know needs to not be crossed, but always does. That line of excusing intimacy as a reason to make everything personal. How can we love someone so much and yet be able to separate ourselves and our feelings from getting in the way of everyday life?
We can’t seem to control what we’re feeling while in a relationship. We’re red hot, on fire all the time. Sometimes, if we are 100% sober and not PMS-ing, we can explain how we are feeling in a calm way. But it’s rare. We mainly operate on two levels when we’re upset (which is a lot): passionate, angry rage, or absolute, overwhelming sadness. Few people can deal with us when we’re like that. We can barely deal with ourselves.
With ex boyfriends if I felt like I wasn’t getting enough love I felt terrified that he would leave me and I would act out. If he didn’t kiss me enough in the course of a day I would feel neglected. If he showed even a remote amount of attention to another woman I would feel an urge to strangle that woman with my bare hands and then want to make-out with another man in front of him just to get him back. Crazy, unstable tendencies.
Sometimes we have issues in friendships too. We will take certain things to heart that weren’t meant that way and it can cause tension. But the major difference is that we are not involved with our friends intimately, so there’s a separation that allows us to function in a healthy way.
So what is the solution? I’m still trying to figure that out. Do we have to be labeled the “difficult girl” the rest of our lives and find a shmuck whom is able to put up with it for a short while until he reaches his breaking point?
When I think down the line of all the life events that might come up with a partner, it gives me anxiety. Can you imaging trying to deal with an emotional girl while she is pregnant? With hormones going crazy? When she is planning her wedding? Dealing with a death?
The only times when I can remember feeling long term happiness are when I have blocked out my feelings so hard that I no longer felt anything. Which obviously isn’t how one reaches ultimate satisfaction, but at least no one can hurt you if you feel nothing. If you aren’t feeling hurt then you can feel free to live your life without distraction.
But by blocking pain, you block everything else too. So it’s not a logistical solution.
The bright side of being with an emotional girl is that she experiences happiness and joy at the same kind of intense level. No one else will appreciate your love more. It’s very easy to make her happy with minimal effort and she will always express that gratitude. Her expressions of love will make you weep at the sincerity and raw emotion, that of which most people never even skim the surface. You will never receive a card from her with a handwritten part that merely says, “I love you, Lauren”. It will be an outpouring of feelings for you.
I’m not the kind of person who just says, “sorry, this is how I am. Take it or leave it”. I am constantly working on myself and trying to be better and more mature. But at this point, I’ve come to wonder if this is just what I have to accept and that I hope someone, someday can deal with me for a lifetime.
But if not, I have also accepted the alternative reality. Maybe emotional people are just better suited to be alone.
New post is up on Elite Daily!!!
They published another article of mine on Elite Daily!
For most women, a first date is a pleasurable event. If you are going out with someone who you even remotely like, a first date is a great time to get to know someone new, see if there is chemistry, and assess compatibility levels. There is usually very little pressure, so you can just enjoy getting dressed up and going out even if you don’t meet your soul mate.
At the end of the night, for both the guy and girl, there is usually some slight anxiety surrounding whether to kiss or not. Sometimes you will sit in the car for 20 minutes and talk mindlessly about surface level subjects while gauging if there is interest in the kiss. The female will sit with sweaty palms wondering whether or not she should just get the hint and say goodnight, while the male is usually wondering if his breath is okay and how he can go about doing it without seeming awkward.
But this is small potatoes compared to what comes next.
Once you get that first date under your belt and you feel pretty confident that there is a mutual interest, most people move on to a second date. The second date means there is progress in the relationship, which also means there will probably be progress in intimacy, if not then, then in the near future.
And from there is when all of the questions come in.
“Is it acceptable to sleep with him on the second date?”
“How many dates should I wait to sleep with him?”
“How fast is too fast and at what point do you know he won’t just hit it and quit it?”
“Do I have to wait for him to have the exclusivity talk with me first?” (Yeah right, but most self help books tell me to!?)
“How far CAN we go without it being pretty much sex anyway?”
My mind always goes into panic mode as soon as I know I will be seeing a guy for a second time. It’s pretty rare, as I am of the “one and done” mindset, so when it happens, all of the above questions start swirling through my brain. Formal dating means that there are “rules”, unlike with hooking up, so if you make an error early on it could mean game over.
When it comes to sex, we all know that men typically attribute a lot less emotion and value to the physical act. It’s less likely to make them feel attached or vulnerable as it is with women, so they don’t have to worry about it as much. In fact, a lot of men tend to lose interest in a woman if she gives it up too quickly. So knowing this, most women I know tend to put a lot of emphasis on waiting to have sex if they truly want a long term relationship.
So, therein lies the predicament. How is one to gauge when it is appropriate to sleep with someone and how can one stop it from happening? Because we all know that once the making out starts it’s damn near impossible to stop it from escalating, especially if there is alcohol involved.
Here are some easy ways you can avoid the whole mess until you are ready:
1. Don’t drink alcohol after the first date. (I don’t know about you, but that is not realistic for me.)
2. Don’t go to either of your places. (And keep making out in the car? That’s awkward after one time.)
3. Make it a day date! (FRIEND ZONE.)
4. Be on your period. (Haha, ew.)
5. Tell him you are just not ready yet. (You can get away with that for one night. After that, you start seeming like a tease if you are continuing to escalate the making out/foreplay.)
Inevitably for me I usually end up back at the guy’s place after the 2nd/3rd date. And almost always the scene goes something like this:
*Hand up my skirt*
“Stop,” I say. (Btw, STOP usually means a yellow light to most guys and most girls usually intend for it to be taken that way.)
*Unhook the bra*
*Try to take off my shirt*
At this point I will usually stop whatever we are doing to cool out for a minute. But it will just start up again 5 minutes later.
“Okay, I’m gonna go now.”
“Stay. I won’t try to have sex with you,” he says, lying though his teeth.
“Okay,” I say, naively, sometimes actually believing it.
*Get into the bed*
*Start making out again*
*Hands roam everywhere*
“Well gee, Lover Lo, why the hell would you sleep over in his bed if you weren’t planning on having sex?” You ask. That’s a perfectly legitimate question, which is why I usually end up putting out.
That’s why this is such a challenge. Because we want it just as much as the guy wants it. We have to keep dodging and dancing around until we just can’t take it anymore, and sometimes that can only last until the end of the night of the first date!
Most guys will tell you that how fast you sleep with them has little to no bearing on whether or not the relationship will have longevity. My brother is engaged to a girl he met in a bar and slept with that same night. But more often than not men like a challenge, so I am under the impression that we should be more willing to give them that.
Here’s to hoping that I can test this out with the next guy. I don’t know how long I will make him wait or how I will be able to pull off not progressing to the bedroom too quick, but I’m still single after 6 years, so I am willing to try.
“People tell you who they are, but we don’t listen. Because we want them to be who we want them to be.”
In case you would like to know, that quote is from Mad Men, the greatest drama on television.
I’ve dissected that quote in my brain over and over again. I understand it on an intellectual level, but I wanted to really get what it meant on a more comprehensive and symbolic level and realize its implications in my own life.
I think what it really boils down to is expectation. Expectation of who we think or want a partner to be and our subsequent disappointment when they turn out to be something different, that is, themselves.
I’m not going to blame Disney or romantic comedies for putting some sort of fantasy relationship in our heads. I’m going to blame all of us as a whole for not being good listeners and ignoring red flags.
In acting class we study human behavior to its core. We learn that there are several factors and circumstances that can shape a person’s belief systems and lifestyle. That guy from North Carolina who moved to LA to do blue collar grip work for TV and film? He will probably still retain some of his Southern charm and values. He will probably also vote Republican and have no desire to extend himself beyond his line of work. He enjoys watching college football and relaxing on nights and weekends with a beer and some grilled food. That guy from New York who moved to LA to be a producer? He is probably impatient and pushy and always on the go. He is answering emails every 5 minutes. He is very social, but sometimes also superficial, because he is constantly trying to make connections and further his career. Of course I am generalizing, but you get the idea.
Someone’s career, hometown, age, upbringing, social status, religious and political views, and values will tell you everything you need to know about what you can expect from them in the future if you’re paying attention. This guy that I was interested in for a while in college was from bumble-fuck Indiana, drove a truck, loved guns and hunting, was a lineman for the football team, and listened to country music. He was dashingly handsome and we got along well on the surface, but it never would’ve worked. Not just because I hate country music and guns, but because the circumstances of where he came from and how he was raised tells me we would clash on an intellectual, spiritual, and emotional level.
So let’s say you like someone a lot who manages to have the same sorts of interests and values as you and is from a similar background. Congratulations. Once you’ve filtered out incompatibility, it’s important to see someone for what they can and are willing to offer you. If your expectation is marriage, don’t date the 23 year old singer of a band you love. If your expectation is financial stability, don’t date a loser who claims to be a writer but who never writes. If your expectation is someone who is extremely loyal and faithful, don’t date a famous professional athlete.
It’s not about being harsh or bitchy, it’s about knowing what you want and not wasting your time and emotional energy on someone who will let you down and leave you disappointed. You have to be very discerning and listen intently to what others tell you on a first date. Don’t come out of the gate with, “Do you want marriage and kids because if not then let’s just end it here”, but do make sure you are aware of all the information that is being presented.
One of my better qualities, that I picked up in my late 20’s, is my ability to recognize right away when someone isn’t right for me. My friends call it “way too picky”, but I call it being able to quickly perceive someone’s essence. Why should I waste my time with someone who isn’t who I want them to be? If they aren’t offering me what I need then there is no reason to give them more than one date.
This guy that I used to work with and whom I always shared a sexual chemistry with, recently “asked me out”. (I put asked me out in parentheses because I was under the impression that that was his intention.) He said he marked the day we discussed on his calendar and was very excited. The day came and I hadn’t heard from him and it was already 5pm. I texted him to see what the plan was and he informed me that he was with a client shooting photos and he would get back to me. 8:30 rolls around and I decided to meet a girlfriend for a drink because, fuck him. He texts me at 9:30 telling me he wanted to come meet up with us, with his client in tow. My friend had to leave, but the 3 of us proceeded to have a drunken night of debauchery. He told me all about how he was couch surfing and was really excited that at this point in his life he has nothing tying him down. We drunkenly made out at the end of the night and it was fun, but completely pointless.
24 year old me would’ve hung out with him again after that and slept with him several times and probably would’ve become attached and it would’ve ended with me demanding him to be my boyfriend. 30 year old me knows that it is a dead end road. I want a relationship. He wants to have fun. He didn’t tell me that, but the context clues told me all I need to know. So when he texted me the following week saying that we should hang out again, I politely declined.
I have a friend, we’ll call her Lexi, who jumped right from a separation from her husband to dating another man. The other man happens to be married. Of course he claims it is completely on the rocks and that he is on the way to getting a divorce, but he nonetheless is in a government recognized commitment with someone else. She chalks it up to the universe giving her what she really needs and so-fucking-what if the timing is wrong. This guy is telling Lexi (not literally of course) that he is a cheating piece of shit. He is telling her that he doesn’t value marriage or vows and that he is quick to trade-up to the next pretty young thing. He is selfish and impatient and wants to flee the ship when things get hard. Does it sound like the future is bright for the two of them?
Another friend of mine, we’ll call her Haley, is in love with this guy who just got out of a relationship. His wounds are super fresh and he feels emotionally broken. He really likes Haley and even asked her on a date and kissed her afterwards. But then he told her, “I’m just not ready to date again. I really like you but it’s just too soon.” So, even after this right-on-the-nose exposition that he gave her, she still loves to call me and say, “but he does x and y and I know he likes me and he came to my comedy show..” and blah blah. Honey, he said he wasn’t ready. Cut your losses and let him go. If you’re a masochist, keep him in your life as a friend whom you wish were more, otherwise stop holding unrealistic expectations over his head and move on.
You have to ask yourself what you want at all times in every facet of your life and constantly strive to seek that out. If your job isn’t giving you the raise that you think you deserve, then maybe your talents should be taken elsewhere. If a friend of yours is constantly flaking on every engagement you ask her to be a part of and it bothers you, stop asking her to hang out. People will constantly disappoint you if you let them. If you have enough wisdom to know that no one is perfect and that you aren’t going to jive with everyone, you will be much happier.
Stop trying to make people who you want them to be. Let them be who they are, and you be who you are, and find the one that matches naturally.
I’ll leave you with this quote from the amazing Meryl Steep:
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”
There’s a saying that my hairdresser always uses when I’m stuck in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling me the way it should but I can’t really let go: “You’re not done until you’re done.”
Such a simple statement and yet so perfectly describing what that type of a situation is like. How many more times can you be disappointed before you finally just say, “enough”.
It’s like the poor sap on “Love, Actually” who goes to his best friend’s wife and pours out his entire heart to her on fucking poster board set to music and afterwards says, “enough. Enough now.”
The problem with this is that it’s SO HARD to make it to that point. You put up with his disrespect, you recover from that night of crying into your pillow, you learn to live with him not being available enough, not answering your texts, not fully giving of himself. Being emotionally unavailable, pushing you away, making you feel less than. You keep in this cycle until one day you suddenly rediscover your self-respect and your worth and you put your chin up and you say, “enough”.
It’s not even something that you can force yourself to do, which is the most annoying part. Because when your heart is that attached to someone and you’ve been so intimate and shared so much of yourself you want to do everything you can to salvage that. And it was probably pretty good at one point otherwise what would you have to fight for? You probably had created some amazing memories and went to some amazing places together and shared cool stories from your past. But once a relationship gets to the point where you are feeling disappointed more than happy, it starts to spiral into shit.
No one wants to stay in a place of unhappiness, but sometimes as hard as you fucking try, you just can’t pull yourself out of it. For whatever reason, you aren’t ready to move on yet.
It’s such a terrible place to be in and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. And you won’t be done until you’re done, so good luck. I hope it happens sooner rather than later. I hope you don’t completely lose yourself and become an unhappy shadow of who you once where and disappear into dullness along the way.
Some people are really strong and can be like, “fuck you, I’m done” and walk away and wash their hands clean. I am not one of those people. I have to slog through the shit until I’ve cried so much and so hard that I literally have no more tears left for that person. I’m all dried up. My emotional spirit has been broken and I have to get out and repair it or else I’ll be swallowed in the sea of despair.
My poor friend Kristin (name changed) has been struggling for about a year to rid herself of her vile ex-husband who is a raging sex addict. Even knowing EVERYTHING (and I mean everything. Every email, voicemail, text, online exchange etc.) wasn’t enough for her to be done with him right away. They went to couples therapy. She tried to treat it like an alcohol addiction and help him through this rough journey. But he kept deceiving her and being a piece of shit human being so she finally divorced him. But even now she has moments of weakness where she will call him and ask, “should I wait for you?”
It sounds crazy to someone from the outside, but the heart wants what the heart wants regardless of what that person did. You can rationalize it in your brain until your face turns blue but then that beating organ in your chest decides to shit inside your thoughts and derail your progress.
When Janay Rice (Ray Rice’s wife) had a press conference in which she stood by her man and rationalized the fact that he beat her unconscious and dragged her body out of an elevator with her ass showing we all sat with our jaws open and scolded her in our minds for being so stupid. But sometimes it’s hard to even leave an abuser. Hopefully one day soon she realizes she is worth more than that and has her “enough” moment. Only time will tell.
My moment came with The Colombian (my psuedo-ex boyfriend) when I was playing cards with his roommate and his roommate’s girlfriend and he jokingly made fun of me the ENTIRE night. He called me out for making a bad play in our game, he criticized what I wanted to order for dinner at the takeout place, he didn’t pay any attention when I tried to show him a new song I had learned on guitar. These are little tiny things, but the build up of all of the months before just peaked that night and I was DONE.
My moment came with Boyband (another pseudo-ex boyfriend) this afternoon when he flaked on a double date we were supposed to have tonight. He had several opportunities to let me know that he wasn’t available, but instead he decided he would pretend that we didn’t really have “set plans” and say that he had people coming into town and needed to entertain them. He probably doesn’t even think it’s a big deal, but when your heart is so tied to someone and they disappoint you for the 900th time you can’t help but to get upset. And today was the day that I decided that I had no more fucks to give and that I don’t want to feel that disappointment anymore. There isn’t an excuse in the world he could’ve given me that would be good enough. I’m at the end of my rope and I’m walking away for good.
You deserve to be with someone who feels lucky to have you everyday. You deserve to be with someone who is a man and not a boy. You deserve to be with someone who will take you on dates instead of just fuck you. Of course even with the right man there will be hard times and you won’t feel the love at every moment, but you know when a situation isn’t enough for you, and that’s not the way a healthy relationship is supposed to be. We can make excuses for them and pretend like we don’t care and believe that things will change soon, but you know deep down that you deserve better.
You won’t get out until you’re ready, but know that when you do that better things are on the horizon. So many of us have been there before. You are not alone. Make yourself happy first and eventually you will realize that if a guy isn’t making a concerted effort to keep you and make you happy that you have the option to find a person who will. Because those guys exist. They ARE out there. When you are in an unfulfilling relationship, you aren’t available to those guys. So, as Elizabeth Taylor would say, “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together”!
Don’t let someone dull your shine. If your shine has already been dulled, then get it back. And if you don’t feel like you can do that yet, then fake it until you make it. Life is way too short to be with someone who makes you feel less than.
I would like to give a rousing, enthusiastic shout-out to all the real men out there who still take girls on dates. Who seek out a girl who they are attracted to, get a phone number, CALL in a reasonable amount of time, and follow through on treating a girl to a night out. This is a rare, endangered breed of man who we all need to try and save.
I feel as though through my very clinical investigative work of being single for almost six years I’ve developed some insight into decoding the behavior of men and exposing your weaknesses. I feel as though you have become clueless on how to successfully court a woman. But don’t worry, I am here to help! And let me begin by saying, IT’S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT!
Women are just as much to blame as men for the state of affairs in the dating world today. I understand that a lot of us have gotten you into thinking that we are more comfortable “chillin'” with you at your place and watching Netflix, or “hangin'” with you and your boys out at a bar. I’m here to tell you: WE ARE NOT. We would like to be taken on dates. They don’t have to be fancy or involve a lot of money spent. But if we are at all romantically interested in you, we would like to spend time with just you at a place that is not your apartment (at least in the beginning).
Here come the excuses:
“But I’m so broke. I can’t afford to take a bunch of girls on dates.” (There are so many places you can take her that are not expensive. http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/04/50-fun-cheap-dates-that-arent-netflix/)
“I don’t want to invest in some girl until I know that she’s into me.” (Well, you can start out as friends and spend a lot of time and effort into getting to know her until you are firmly cemented in the friend zone and find out that some other dude swept her off her feet last week if you want.)
“Dating is too formal for me. There are way too many expectations.” (Um, I sometimes feel that way too. We both need to grow up.)
“Rejection sucks.” (I know. I’m glad I’m not a man. But if you never take chances then nothing changes. You’ll wake up at 40 alone and with regret. Which circumstance sucks more?)
“I feel like she is only comfortable in a casual, relaxed setting too though. When I make subtle advances she changes the subject.” (That is only her fear and insecurity talking. If you REALLY like her, you have to push through that. The other option is that she’s just not that into you and hopefully you can sense the difference.)
The thing is, whether it seems like it or not we are definitely impressed when you guys make that full effort. You have a 75% better shot than if you dick around and try to do the “let’s just hang” thing. I understand that that way is more comfortable for everyone involved, but in actuality it involves way more effort and takes way more time than going through the stages of dating. Yes it’s scary and involves you putting yourself out there more, but in the long run if you are truly looking for a partner then it’s necessary.
People are naturally inclined to want to be in a relationship. It’s human nature. God (or whomever you believe created our bodies) gave us the gift of sex so that we would bond with another human being, create a family, and re-populate the world. We have obviously started abusing that gift in modern times, but I still believe that most of us, deep down, feel that urge for coupledom. Who wants to trudge through this challenging world alone? Those people who swear that they “LOVE BEING SINGLE!” are in deep denial and have put their frozen heart in a bulletproof safe surrounded by barbed wire. Unless you haven’t been single in forever or you have just come out of a relationship, it’s always a defense mechanism, in my opinion.
So man the fuck up and stop being so stubborn. I can’t tell you how many guy friends I have that have remained single while I have known them and been on only about a handful of dates. When I press them to figure out why that is, their answer is always some bullshit about “it being too hard” and “needing to focus on themselves”. Do you need to focus on yourself for 3 years? Unless you are Justin Timberlake at 22 who is currently on a world tour then that argument doesn’t really fly. You’re being selfish and in denial and letting so many eligible, beautiful women pass you by. I’m not suggesting that you force yourself to date people you have no interest in, but maybe if you were more open to trying it you could soon experience the most amazing part of life: being in love.
I’ve had other guy friends say things like, “every woman I’ve met is a gold digging hoe”. For those of you who feel that way, I’m sorry you live in such a cynical, superficial world. Maybe you should try running with a different crowd or trying to meet a woman somewhere other than a club. Also, unless you are a professional athlete or Bill Gates I highly doubt that she is just after your money. Don’t flatter yourself.
And ladies, let’s all do our part and stop acting like we are okay with hooking up and hanging out. We are confusing the shit out of men. They have no idea what we want now! Grow up, throw on some high heels, and toss your hair around until some guy notices you. If you are interested, then allow him to ask for your number. If he then proceeds to text you late night to hang out, say no, and then tell him what you want and deserve (nicely, of course). We all have to band together and re-train these dudes. Men haven’t just suddenly become lazy and casual about dating all on their own. If we all start expecting more maybe they will give more.
I used to be that girl who was all, “um, there are no guys asking me out” who would then proceed to never give anyone my phone number when they asked and continue to casually sleep with my neighbor. I was never open to anyone’s advances when they were serious but I would go to a guy’s apartment late night for drinks and then be disappointed when he didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend after a couple months. I never made it easy for anyone and I now take full responsibility for my years of singledom.
Give these guys all the encouragement and clues that they need to ask you out. Be open, be vulnerable, and express happiness when they follow through. Our emotions and sensitivities make us way more hard to read and the guys are just trying to do what they think we want. So stop telling them you “just wanna have fun!” and grow up. Together we can change the trend!
p.s. it’s September 11th and I just want to give love to everyone in the US and especially in New York. #neverforget