Hardened Heart

I’ve had to learn a lot in the vulnerability/openness department over the past couple years. After having had my heart broken a couple times now, my tendency is to push any new love opportunity 900 miles away from me to avoid the inevitable end that will leave me in shambles for months. But what I have learned from doing that is that I hurt more from missing out on some good opportunities and feeling a sense of regret than I do if I had been open enough to receive that love in the first place and risk maybe getting hurt.

What I like to do is wait until I have completely ruined a potential relationship by pushing the dude away and protecting myself with a closed heart and then when the he finally pulls away I’m all, “wait, what? I love you though!” At that point I make it my mission to try and reverse all the damage I’ve done until we’ve both fought to the point of exhaustion. Good work, me.

Some people take heartbreak harder than others. But do not let that make you a hard person. Because what you really wanted so badly was love, and the only way to get love is to give love.

Be open, be vulnerable, be love.

I’m still a work in progress but knowing my problem is the first step in the right direction. 🙂